Bored at home.
Is saturday yet i dont have program. =(

What's going with my life?
I just can't let you off my mind.
Is there anything to forget you?
I don't know what to do now.
Is been 5 months.
Things wasn't going well in my life.
Do you know how much i miss you?
I know it can't turn back anymore.
And there isn't anything i can do.
Really hate this feeling.....

Really regret alot alot alot. =(


time passed and left
love is faced with a choice
you've become cold and i've cried
the unhappiness at the beginning
you just wrote them on a post card
sometimes love can only be like this it's really painful

what happened, you're tired, hadn't we agreed, to have happiness
i understand, don't say anymore, love had weakened, my dreams have sunk
being happy and not, narrating them one after another, you can't bear it
those feelings of having loved are too deep, i still remember them

you're not waiting anymore, hadn't we agreed, to have happiness
i've been wrong, tears have dried, we've let go, i've come to regret
only that musical box of memories continue to turn
how can it be stopped?

Finally i have time to update my blog.
Last week was super happening week.
Because I celebrate my 21st birthday at home =)
Thanks for those who came to my celebration.
Thanks girlfriends to accompany me and help me with my celebration.
Thanks those "gays" to came down so late.
Thanks vanessa for asking my parents out for photo taking session.
I love you guys. Thanks x10000~~~

Happy 21st Birthday to Me!!!

Will update soon....

8 days
7 days

Hmm..I know what i going to get myself for my birthday gift.
Guess this year will be different from the past 3 years.
I used to have my "Love" one celebrating on my birthday.
And now, I guess i will celebrate at home on 18.
Back to those days.
Hmmm.. kinda miss those days.

Now then i realise how much mistake i made.
Why? And everything is too late to turn back.
I regret it. Why didn't at the start i treasure it?
And when it disappear from my life, I start realise that I am actually had a lot of mistakes.
There isn't anymore chance for me.
失去才来后悔

我还是不敢相信你已经离开我的身边。
你再也不回来了。

希望你不会把我忘掉！

You who won't answer my calls anymore, you who doesn't want to see me at all
No matter how I beg for forgiveness, there's already no use

Waiting by your door, even if you pretend you can't see me
Brushing past my shoulder like seeing a stranger you just met
Waiting until you are willing to hear me say sorry

Looking at my phone ten times a day, even jumping at the slight sound
To find out if you had sent me a text message

Just hope that person is YOU. =(

9 days

Will be better year when i turn to 21?
This year is really suck.
So many shits things happen on me.

Just now was listening to jay chou songs while browsing through my old albums.
And so nice, randomly an qing start to play when i was looking my photos with him.
Nearly tears dropping.
Somehow, i had a bad feeling.
Which I don't like it at all, but what i can do?
I only can remember those good memories with him.
I have to ask myself, am i really let it go?
Sigh~

I shouldn't use such a hurtful word to say it.
After I cool down, i realise i was in the fault.
I am sorry.
Useless

I cant believe you had the nerve to say the things you said
They hurt so bad that they ended our Relationship
I cant believe it four years gone down the drain
How I wished things woulda happened so differently
I tried to say this many times but still you couldn’t see
You kept insisting, and resisting that you would not fall again

Maybe I shouldn't be angry or what.
Thinking those action i did, is really stupid
And things are just repeating again and again.
This is not the first time happening, and why is only me?
Fuck~

I don't deserves any good things happen on me.

Just a urge to MIA now.

Sunday!
I spent my day with my beloved family.
And this is my first day going with my youngest brother too.
LOL~ I know lah.

Birthday is really coming soon.
11 days to go.
Hmm..I got my loves one celebrate advance for me.
So for my actual day, shall stay at home celebrate with my mum bah.
I don't felt disappointed when boss said she can't take off on that day.
So is okay la.
Maybe for the past, i might be disappointed but not longer now.
I don't know whether i should do it anot.
Someone told me to at least ask, if not in the future i will regret.
Even i don't ask, I already know the answer.
Hmmm...haix. Confusing. -.-

This week is super happening.
Especially on FRIDAY!
LOL~ Let's play together, okay?

Everyone got a limit.
I am disappointed for what you did.
Seriously just a word for you - FUCKER!
Whatever things happen to you, i seriously just fuck care.

Shall be a spy for someone! LOL~

What a DAY!
LOL~
Got long weekend for this week.
Yesterday meet up with GFs.
Finally 4 us gather and had a whole day together.
Hope there will more outings to come too~ =)
Happening day too.
No comment about it.
After all, is just nothing. -.-

说 有什么 不能说 怕什么
相信我 不会哭 我不会难过
错 谁的错 谁能说得清楚
还不如算我的错
做 有什么 不敢做
怕什么 相信我 不在乎
就算你走了
落 就算我 的心从十六楼
落下负一层 B座
我也不会难过 你不要小看我
有什么熬不过 大不了唱首歌
虽然是悲伤的歌 声音有点颤抖
也比你好得多 我还是很快乐
我再不会难过 你别太小看我
有什么熬不过 谁说我不能喝
我喝得比谁都多 走路有点颠簸
也比你强得多 我还是很快乐
做 有什么 不忍心
怕什么 相信我 不在乎
就算你走了
落 就算我 的心从十六楼
落下负一层 B座
我也不会难过 你不要小看我
有什么熬不过 大不了唱首歌
虽然是悲伤的歌 声音有点颤抖
也比你好得多 我还是很快乐
我再不会难过 你别太小看我
有什么熬不过 谁说我不能喝
我喝得比谁都多 走路有点颠簸
也比你强得多 我还是很快乐
我再不会难过 你不要小看我
有什么熬不过 大不了唱首歌
虽然是悲伤的歌 声音有点颤抖
也比你好得多 我还是很快乐
我才不会难过 你别太小看我
有什么熬不过 烧掉你写的信
忘掉你喜欢的歌 绑住我的眼睛
眼泪掉不下来 我还是很快乐

Outing with those gays later again.
Hmm....movie again. =)

01 11 10
Nice Day to remember
Ha~
Guess no one will know today was suppose to be my special day.
But now, no more.

至少有开心过。
I will only remember all the happiest moment.

Thanks to someone who really entertain me during my work time today.
HA!

Is a brand new month again.
And in 2 week time, i will be 21.
Is really fast.
And I had already plan what to do that day.
A simple birthday wish is "I want all my beloved friends to celebrate with me."
Please come true k? =)

My weekend was fun again.
Friday
Went to wavehouse with jingye, junkok and xuelin.
Was quite relax place and we had beer.
After all, i was drunk again.
First time, I drank till so sleepy. LOL! -.-
Took cab to jun kok's house and mj session.
Won $8. Took first bus home.

Saturday
Meet up with boss.
I had a cut hair before meeting her.
Short and ugly. =(
She took off her extension, had a hair cut.
Dinner was Let's Sweet at Ps.
Was my 2nd time having it.
Sian~
Watched movie and off to my house for hair dye session.
She even stay over at my house. -.-
Super steady sia. LOL!
Enjoy my day with her.

Sunday
Meet those guys at hougang mall
Kh is a super troublesome person!
LOL! Guess those who went will know why.
Jun Kok's house for mj again.
Took last bus home.
Thanks for accompany me to wait for bus. =)

I just feel that everything change.
Is not the same as last time anymore.
Is weird.
Can't say out the feelings but...... is suck.
Haiz.


My heart still hurts, I can't hold in my tears
Even though I said I had already forgotten, even if I try to lie to myself
Because I still can't forget you
*My tears falling like crazy, at this rate, what am I going to do
I want to live proudly, what to do, my tears keep falling*
What did I do wrong
Why did we separate
I don't know the reason, I'm so furious
No matter how hard I try to forget, in the end it's still you

Even though I really don't know the reason, no matter what I do will make you mad, right
Because you've always right, and I'm always wrong
Let's go back, stop my tears from falling
My tears falling like crazy, at this rate, what am I going to do
I want to live proudly, my tears keep falling like crazy

Bored at home~

This week kinda of guai because I went home after work.
1: Save money
2: Watch video
3: Download songs
4: hmmm...secret. =P

Doesn't matter I already have friends for me anymore.
Because I know when they really treat me as friend, no matter what they will be there for me.
I see through some of them.
I am just disappointed.
So forget it. Move on with my life.
The life that belong to me. =)

My currently best thing is SINGLE-HOOD life.
Freedom!
No trouble for everything.
Enjoying myself now.
I really like my life now. =))

Monday Blue.


October is ending soon again.
Don't know why when coming to end year, time pass really fast.
Haiz.

Over the weekends......
Friday had night cycling with usual gang again.
But this time wasn't fun enough.
Maybe things are different from last time.
Hmm..through out the journey, we were like entertaining ourself.
Obviously was fun because I got 3 entertainer.
LOL~
We rent our bicycle at pasir ris park for $15 and timing was from 8pm to 10am.
We started cycling from 3 am because was waiting for rx.
Cycle all the way to east coast and back to pasir ris.
From 3 am to 7 am.
Had breakfast at downtown east mac, and slack awhile.
Back to pasir ris park to wait for the shop to open and return the bicycle.
Cabbed home with rx.
Reached home around 10.45am, bathed and sleep.

Was awake around 5pm plus by a idiot for calling me about iphone stuff. =.=
Slacked at home till 8.30pm and meet them at compass point to accompany kh to buy his stuff.
In the end, he and jy went to their friend's birthday party first and by the time they reach sengkang was already 9.30pm. -.-
Aftermath went to hougang to have dinner and mj session at jk's house.
Was so lame that jk had to go boat quay to settle some stuffs.
Around 2am, rx, thai and kh left jk's house.
3 of us fall asleep while waiting for kok to return.
4 am, we start our mj session again.
Played till 8am.
Had breakfast and i took bus home.
Was so tired that i was suppose to accompany my mum to NTUC.
In the end, I wake up at 6pm. =.=

I don't understand what human are thinking.
Whatever it is, there won't be a right thing for it.
Being a human is really very difficult.
So just chose to look and shut up.
No point bother so much because nobody will appreciate it.
Just a sentence: FUCK CARE~

One more month to my birthday.
Suddenly feel so lazy for everything.......

Happening weekend siol. =)

Friday night went to hougang to find jk and wg for dinner.
Had majong session again.
And I won. =D

Saturday
Reached home at 4am.
Was awake by my brother because he want to use my computer itunes.
And ask me about iphone stuff.
While was helping him, he told me that my dad actually brought iphone too.
But he didn't want to use and intend to sell it.
So i asked my dad to give it to me since my 3GS got problem.
Hahaha~ In the end, i got it for free. =D
Was chatting with my brother about iphone stuff and helping him for 2 hours like this and he went out.
Aftermath, while i was jailbreaking my phone, my sis ask me to play majong with her and her bf.
So i played till 5 pm, and I won again. =D
They bring me out for dinner at Chomp Chomp.
Shiok TTM because I don't need to pay anything.
Reached home and played one round and meet kok and wg at my house nearby to go toa payoh to meet the lovely couple.
LOL~
Lucky everything went back to normal.
Really normal. Glad to see you guys happy. =D
That day was full of memories, i mean all the past memories just flash back to my mind again. LOL!
Slack at sky garden till 2am plus and was kanna screen by police.
Spoil our mood and went home aftermath. =.=
Reached home and helped my brother to jailbreak his phone till 4plus.

Sunday
Went out with boss and her BF.
Super lame couple.
Seriously they are very lame. O.o
Dinner was at Crystal Jade buffet located at PS.
We sat there for 3 hours. =.=
Talked lots of crappy stuffs.
But I learn something new again.
Thanks people for letting me know what is life. =)
Apart from them after that.
HOME SWEET HOME.

Even i have MC for today, I still have to come to work. =.=
Because someone wanted to "harm" me.
FUCK MAN!

Forget it.
I think October is damn suay month for me.
Got throat infection plus vomit.
Whatever I eat, I vomit out everything.
Sigh!
What a day!

有些东西是失去以后才知道后悔
Suddenly I miss the days with him.
Don't know why too.
Miss the days when he love me so much.
Miss the days when he will bring me out.
Miss the days when he "act" cute infront of me.
Miss the days when we were buy meals together.
Miss the days when we were watching tv together.
Miss the days when he pamper me like a princess.
Miss the days when I throw temper at him, he will make me happy.
Seriously I MISS THE DAYS WITH HIM.
Sigh~
The best memories in my life that I will never forget.
I never know someone who actually love me so deepy before.
Is my fortune anyway.

2 more hours to go.
My stomach is killing me now.
My neck is pain.
AWW~~

I dream of someone.
Is it because I miss him too much or what?
He appear in my dream again and this time is with his family. =.=
Somehow it was a sweet dream.
That's why today I am not tired. =) LOL!

Today I went to check my nuffnang and see who went to view my blog.
And someone was seaching "how to get my ex boyfriend back", and my blog was inside the seaching list.
WTF! I didn't even write anything regarding how to get my ex back.
This is so ridiculous. Lame lah.

是你的就是你的! Agree with this.

I asked my sister about her 21st birthday celebration which is 5 years ago. =.=
She asked to start doing research, invitation...blah blah blah.
Haiz... I scare things might happen that day. D:
How how how?
Is good to have a mini celebration because
1) I won't regret for not celebration
2) Meeting up with old friends
3) All my friends are celebrating with me
Still considering. hmmm.....Should i put it on tuesday night or wednesday afternoon?

What a day!
I don't know why my appetitze is getting better now.
Maybe I am happy? LOL!
I being eating alot sia. Getting my old weight soon! =.=
Need to stop eating now.

While I was working, i was surfing net.
And randomly I went to type "crystal jade steamboat", and saw lots of post.
Make me craving for it.
Free flow of XLB, is like OMG!!!!
No matter what, I WANT TO GO THERE AND EAT.
And didn't expected boss and bee is willing to go there with me. =)
YEAH~ Love you girls!!!!
Shall eat on friday.
If really nice, next week gathering shall bring them to go there and eat.
HAHAHAHA~

Jingye is coming back real soon.
Kinda of miss him.
I want to see his expression..
Can imagine now....hahahahaha

My home is so quiet nowadays.
Mum is at malaysia.
Youngest bro is NS.
Oldest bro don't know go where. Didn't saw him for 2 days already.
Sister staying at her Bf's house.
By the time I reach home everyday, my dad had already fall asleep.
AWW~~ SIAN!! =(((

No voice weekend. =(
Friday
Was feeling sick but still can go out and ton. =.=
Meet up with girlfriends.
Is like so long that 4 of us gather together.
But guess we shall meet once every 2 weeks. Hopefully~
Time pass fast. Meet up for dinner and had to leave to meet those guys for night cycling.
By the time they reached pasir ris, all bicycles shop had close.
In the end, we slack at changi beach there.
LOL! Is another fun day.

Saturday
We agree to meet up to watch "the other guys" at cathay.
So we asked thai and xian to buy tickets while we 3 meet up later for dinner.
Slack at SOTA while waiting the "couple" to arrive.
Didn't expected things work out on them so fast.
Grats to them! Long lasting k?
Although when i saw them holding hands, I was shocked. O.o
Thought that i will feel jealous, sad or whatever, but i feel nothing.
I am glad that you two FINALLY get together.
The 2 friends once was my best, close and hanging out together de friend, and now they are together. Funny ar but happy. =D
Lan session aftermath.
Walked to clark quay to wait for first bus.
Home sweet home!


We!! 4 of us! Lame and iphone gang.


Finally rx is attached.
So 3 of you must be happy with your partner.
I feel like my 3 daughters are getting marry. =.=
Like what I always said: "要开心!"
Remember ok?
Although I am not a good friend, but if you guys need someone to accompany, just call me. =)
No matter what, I will be there for you guys.........

Enjoying my single-hood life now.
Because I am happy for what I have now.
There are lots of people really care for me.
Although they didn't show it out, but i know.
Thanks!! I feel very blessed already.
A simple SMS, also bright up my day. LOL! =D

Hmm.. ok, i shouldn't be mad or what.
I am leading a good life now.
There are someone there for me. So what else do i need?
=) Just be happy.

I am really tired of everything.
The more I care, the more I am being KPO.
What for?
So I will just FUCK care.

Enjoy LIFE! -.-"

Thanks for yesterday night!
I think I am just making things worst.
But anyway I won't do it again.
What's the point? LOL!
I lost 2 BFF yet i am glad that I gain another one!

Thanks Junkok for being at myside when I needed someone. =D
But don't put anything else into it ok?
FUCK THE FEELING THING! LOL!
You should understand what i am talking about right?
I am touched for accompany me yesterday..all i can said is "rare!"
hahaha.. But thanks anyway.
It's good to dream but sometimes we can turn dream to reality.

Because of something, I nearly lose my job.
But lucky my supervisor is such a good person.
And now no matter what, I will be a good girl and go to work everyday.
Regardless how tired i am, I still have to drag myself to work.
Thanks for my 2 colleagues helped me to say alots of good words for me.
So touched for it.

I know that the things i expected, it won't happen.
But things that I don't expect, it happen.
So I rather not think anymore and live on with my life.
I still got lots of good friends around me.
What for? LOL!
Thanks people for listening to my rubbish this past few weeks.
Is really too much shits happening on me.
So wake me up when september ends, althought it had already ended.

Vanessa told me that last time I was a cheerful person until I had a BF.
I started to change.
Changed to a person who is very emotional.
Seldom meet up with them.
When got trouble then find them.
She still treat me as a very best friend no matter what.
I am touched to hear there because I treat her very nasty last time.
But thanks buddy!
Thanks to be myside too.

That's why I treasure every friendship I have now.
Because I know once you get into a relationship, you won't able to balance it UNLESS you are a pro.
I still believe it's hard. But I have to be understanding lah.

I going to date all my old "close" friends out soon.
Hopefully things will get better soon.
And memories will kept in my heart forever.
Thanks for the memories. =D

I keep writing alots of rubbish because i got NOTHING to do at work.
Surfing net to kill time. Sian~
I think I might be celebrating my birthday at home.
Mini-catering... Still considering.
Because I want someone to be there but i guess nobody want to see him and he won't turn up too.
I feel like I misses everyone.
Him, him and him. LOL!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
2 more hours to go..
I really got nothing to do at home.
Just wasting my time at work lor.
Sian sia.
Feel like sleeping now.
"Mj" girl told me alots of thing. And I kanna scolded by her. LOL!
But she really gave me alot of advices, some might be wrong but if i follow what she said, i won't make myself suffer.
Maybe boss, vann and kok words too.
I am sorry for my stubborn mindset.
Now I will listen to what you all told me. =D
Goodbye and Hello.

MC for the day.
Guess my supervisor was pissed with me, tomorrow she will talk to me. =.=
Feel damn bad for my poor attendance.
Hais.

I went to read through my past entries again.
And realise everything is really happen too fast.
FUCK. Everything seem to be happen like yesterday.
Why? Is too damn fast.
But who going to care?
FUCK~
My life is really damn fucked up.
Things are just happen in my life again and again.
Is the fate that i have to suffer all this shit things.
But i will get over it soon, hopefully!
I still can't believe things are changing now.
Hais...

Memories
Supposed to fade
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go
Didn't think it be this hard
Should be strong
Moving on
But I see you
Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside

Never really said too much
Afraid it wouldn’t be enough
Just try to keep my spirits up
When there’s no point in grieving
Doesn’t matter anyway
Words could never make me stay
Words will never take my place
When you know I’m leaving

What should I do?

People gave me lots of advices of what should i do.
Maybe is just i misunderstood all things and make it to be so complicate.
I am sorry to create so many troubles and problems to you guys.
I really hope the best for you guys.
MUST BE HAPPY K? LOL!

What i am going to do now?
I have to go back and learn my driving.
Date all my old friends out.
Regardless is who, even my ex, i am willing to be back friend with him again.
I think there is no point to lose someone who i am happy with before.
And I will treat them even better than last time because I really know friendship is really very important part of my life.
Without them = without me.
Those who help me pull through the most low of my life people, i will like to say thank you!
Sincerely!

I miss my mum. =.=
She's going to malaysia now! OMG~

明知道爱情并不牢靠
但是我还是拼命往里跳
明知道再走可能是监牢
但是我还是相信只是煎熬

朋友都劝我不要不要
不要拿自己的幸福开玩笑
但是做人已经那么累
假惺惺的想要逃
在爱里连真心都不能给
这才真的真正的可笑

爱得太真 太容易 让自己牺牲
太容易让自己沉沦
太容易 不顾一切 满是伤痕
我太笨 明知道你是错的人
明知道这不是缘分
但是我还奋不顾身
但我相信有点可能

可能 在爱里面这样算笨
可能 永远没有所谓永恒
但是我 不愿放弃这里面一点点可能
宁愿笨也不想要悔恨