My leg still hurt.
Ok, i did something crazy again.
Went to find ruixian on saturday after her work.
And went to clarke quay to settle my dinner, slack and talk.
Leave that place at 12am plus.
Start walking from clarke quay to ps to orchard to toa payoh to potong pasir.
I reached home at 6am plus.
Super crazy~ Enjoy the walking trip. =D

Browse through my photos album and saw lots of ugly, funny, lame photos.
Remember the times we had our night cycling?
Remember the times we went to Ktv?
Remember the times how we celebrate each other birthdays?
Remember the times we had fun during our chalet?
Why can't i play hard during that time?
Treasure all the best memories I have now. =D

Sometime I feel bad for something.
I couldn't do anything or help up too.
All i can do is just keep quiet and see what will happen next.
I am really useless.
No matter what someone will get hurt in the end.
So is better not to do anything.
Just stop and stare!
Nobody will know what i am talking about. =)

Yesterday was an awesome day.
Did something new.
Went to airport first.
Suppose I was the one who accompany ruixian to buy something, in the end everyone tag along. =.=
Brought kite at mini-bite and took train to marina barrage.
Ok, is my 2nd time going there.
Is fun over there.
Because I did I want to do, FLY KITE!
Thanks for everyone going without complaining much. O.o
Enjoy alot last night. =)
Ton-ed over at my house.
But guess everyone was too tired, and they left my house around 6am plus.
LOL. There goes my public holiday.

Still haven eaten anything yet.
Don't feel hungry too.
What is happening to me?

Why am I bothering it so much?
Gosh!! I need something to distract me..
I need to train myself not to let people know what I am thinking.
Just Shut The FUCK Up.
Silence is golden.

Lack of sleep for this past few days.
Imagine i only get to sleep like 4 hours for the past 3 days.
I am dying soon. =(

Thanks everyone for saying "I look cheerful and happier than last time"!
Is the fact that i am happy now.
No trouble for relationship.
No more EMO!
Is good to live without trouble and emo.
That why I can be happy than last time. =)

Genting is booked and will be going there on next sunday.
Like finally after so long, I grant my wishes.
Thanks everyone to fulfill it with me. =)
Love you guys!!

Now is 7.51pm and shall sleep real soon but my bro stuck at the toilet for like 30minutes.
WTF~

SHAG DAY!
Firstly I only slept 4 hours for the past 2 days.
Secondly my instructor didn't stamp my driving for me that mean my $58 is gone.
Thirdly I fail my FTT just by a mark.
Just want to shout "FUCK MAN!!!"
=(

I realise that my relationship cause me to get closer with them.
If I am still together with him, I might not know that I have such a wonderful branch of friends.
Not only that, we get closer and we change too.
Our attitudes are much more good than last time.
I just want to say "Thank you" to him.
Thanks for saying goodbye to me. I grant the friendship that I always wanted. =)

Our genting trip is double confirm. Yeah~
Shall book the tickets tomorrow or thursday!

Ok, I have to sleep now.
Damn shag day.
Hopefully that person won't pester me tonight. LOL!

Random post.
I create a trouble and feel bad about it.
I am really sorry but i know you won't read my blog.
You plan everything and yet I spoil it. =(
Sigh~

Thanks for listening to my trouble and advice me what to do.
Shall forget everything, and live on happily.

FTT tomorrow and i haven even start studying yet.
Too tired for that. =.=
Plus tomorrow shall camp at CDC for half a day.
Driving + e-trial + FTT.

OMG! Just tell me how I can I don't fall in love with him.
He's damn too handsome. Plus cute, tall and everything good about him.
But too bad, I won't see him in person except in youtube. HAHAHAHA~
Was finding his pictures at google and make me so "high" while searching.
He is really damn too hot~ *huuu*

I think I should be getting a 2nd SLR camera.
Since I am a beginner, why don't just get a 2nd hand first and play around with it before getting a really SLR camera?
Should be a good idea. =)

Tomorrow is the day.......
1 September 2010.
Waiting for you!

At that time, we are not mature enough for each other.

Guess last week, I ton-ed too much and make me so tired.
Reached home at 6 am in the morning on sunday.
Slept and wake up at 12 plus.
Use computer, watch Hello baby. Damn funny show.
Out with my parents for breakfast/lunch/dinner at 3 plus.
Back home, help me dad to do something.
Off to bed at 6 pm.
Slept till 7am in the morning.
Was damn lazy to wake up.
Thought of switching on my laptop, but was too lazy to get up.
My Lazy Sunday. T_________T

I think everything is fated.
Why that show appear in tv and make remind me of my "last time" watching that show with him at his house? FUCK~
Forget it. Emo Guy. =.= LOL!

My colleague is really very irritating, keep pestering me to play mahjong.
I not that addicted yet.
Give me a life man! =)

I guess genting is a CONFIRM.
Wooooo~ I am really looking forward the day to arrive.
And I am excited to get my spectacle too.

I could use a dream or a genie or a wish to go back to a place much simpler than this

I broke my contact lens. =( Upset TTM~
Decided to get a spectacle because I can't see clearly during night.
Especially when i am driving, couldn't see the green arrow is turning left or right. T.T
Spent $275 for my spectacle, kinda of crazy. But is branded and i love the color too.
My eyesight is not that deep yet. So i have to save it back now. Hopefully~ LOL

Step up 3 was awesome.
Thanks for accompany me to watch.
I have download all the songs but can't find the last song.

Going to meet up with wen gui and thai loong for dinner. YEAH~
Is been a long time since i saw them.
2 weeks? LOL.

Salt is a awesome movie, but i guess there is part 2. LOL
Just finished online. =)

Went out with my colleague on saturday.
And I brought alot of things that day.
Real shopping spree for me.
Shall do it every month. It bright up my day too~

I just wonder why there is someone who is so petty, talk without using brain, everyone need to listen to what that person say..whatever is it mean that person is just too way selfish.
I don't want to bother what she/he is thinking.
Just wish that person good luck for itself future.
Don't change = losing friend

Somehow i was happy/shock when she told me that person thing.
Yeah~ I think i am desperate for it.
HAHAHA, i admit it. I AM DESPERATE!

You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I, don't wanna wake up from you
Sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Somebody pinch me, your loves to good to be true
My guilty pleasure I ain't goin no where
Baby long as you're here
I'll be floating on air cause you're my
You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I, don't wanna wake up from you

Everyday of my work, i will definitely talk about genting trip with my colleague. Not only that, will do research for it too. hahahaha~ That's my life during my work.

Let me think what should i blog about.
Life seem to be normal every single day.
I am looking forward to night cycling next week and my genting trip next month, hopefully this two outing can make it. =D
I wonder why that couple quarrel in FB? Is it so fun to let the whole world know they are quarreling. =.= Kinda of lame. Not a young couple too. LOL~ 他们开心就好!

Chose to keep quieter for something. =O Nvm, shall stick to my old plan.

This 2 days, was watching 2am leader video at youtube.
He entertain me alot.
The ways he dance, is so fucking funny. GO watch it if you want to laugh. =.=

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,
Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

I am super tired!
Saturday didn't sleep at all.
Sunday slept for 5 hours nia. Is not even enough for sat's sleep.
Chatted phone with ruixian and thai loong. Was a lame chat. LOL!
Is my first time talking to both of them on phone.
Suddenly i feel that thai loong is such a talkative person.
Maybe he had open his heart to us, that why he talks alot. LOL!
That's good. =D
Chat for like 1hr 50 minutes, from 12am plus till 2am.
That's why i am so shag for today.

Finally my colleague add me in fb, shall show you all next meet up.
She even went to tell the guy about me. =.=
She seem to treat me very good, but from what i heard from thai and xl make me freak out leh.
Anyway I need to protect myself too.
Once bitten, twice shy.

I am mad!
We are mad!
Seriously damn fucking mad!
Only those one was toning will know why. LOL~
I feel that toning session can make us understand better.
Because we can talk lots of heart to heart chat.
Yup, is great to have them as friends. =O
Love them TTM!

I feel I am really useless, seeing you have trouble I don't know how to help you.
Still remember that time, you were so concern about me and my relationship life and wanted to ask me out but i was so stubborn.
And now you have trouble, i couldn't help you at all.
I am really a useless friend.
Sigh~ Making you happy when we meet up that is only thing i can do.
But just sometime you ignore. -.-
I really don't wish to see you crying for work again.
Is really don't worth it. You are a person who can suffer toughness and smart, i believe you can find a job easily. Is just that whether you want to try anot. Every job is the same, but don't just see the money nia. You are still young, and you also need to enjoy your life too. This job make your life so fucked up, and you also miss out alot of fun with us too.
This is just a advice to you, and i know what you thinking of.
As a friend, I REALLY doesn't want to see you suffering for this job.
Just one last thing, make up your mind and just do it.

I got to say i HAD let go of the relationship.
So don't come ask me stupid question. LOL~
I admit that starting of the break up, I still think that he will come back to me one day. But I don't have the mindset now.
I really really doesn't think about him anymore.
Just like the video he post at FB, I think the words are true and i went to "like" it =.= Doesn't mean anything.
I open up my heart everything, seeing through everything......

Woolala~ Going out with usual gang again.
Is alright to meet up with same people every weekends.
Because i LOVE them! LOL!
And i not going to bother what they going say about my dressing all this.
Cuz they are GAYS after all. LOL~
Troublesome gays!!!!

Yesterday meet up with boss and rx after work, is a awesome outing too.
I love them TTM!
They make me life bright up.
I think is the first time we had MAC for dinner.
Sit there for like at least for 45 minutes, talk lame thing!
Yup, doing/talking lame things are always what we do.
Meeting up with them are the best!
And I realise a quarrel can the friendship more better and treasure.
Just like me and Boss! Although the quarrel are DAMN stupid, but luckily it didn't spoil our friendship. And make treasure this friendship more than last time.
友情万岁!!!!

Today finally did a thing after 1 month plus. I remove all our photos in my room and put it somewhere that I couldn't see. Lol. Is kinda of random!

Talked to jy's sister regarding online contact lens, in the we brought at difference blogshop. Lol! Lame~

I don't know what to write anymore. I still looking forward next month! Hopefully by the time, everything could settle down and start refresh!

Ok, nite everyone. Gonna wake up early tomorrow. =)

Was reading this while working

Here are some tips on what you should do in the early days of a breakup to let the healing begin.

1. Avoid him for at least a few weeks. Seeing your former flame can bring out emotions and may cause you do to or say something you will regret. - I don't have former flame. =.=

2. Talk about your feelings with close friends. Get everything out so you won’t hold it inside. Your friends may get sick of hearing you talk about the situation but you need to let out all your feelings and thoughts. - My friends are obviously sick and tired of hearing the same old thing. =.=
3. Cry if you want to. It’s OK to cry over a loss. Don’t hold back, let the tears roll, but do it in a safe and private place. - Safe? How safe?LOL. =.=

4. Let go of mementos. Put aside or give away anything that reminds you of the relationship. Hide them out of sight so he will be out of mind until you’re able to remember the relationship without longing for it. - I am just simply to lazy to do it. =.=

5. Focus on all the things about your ex that drove you crazy, turned you off, or you just found plain annoying. It’ll make you feel better to remember your former flame was not perfect and there are things you won’t really miss about him. - Yeah~ Alot of things!

6. Think about the mean, cruel or rude things your ex may have done in your relationship. Really give these things play in your memory. Remind yourself that somebody who truly cared for you would not have done such thoughtless things and tell yourself you’re better off without that kind of ego-crushing behaviour in your life. - YEAH! I totally agree!!

7. Maintain a strict no contact policy and stick with it. Don’t pass notes through friends. Don’t make any calls. Stay away from instant messaging or texting on your cell. Avoid all contact until you are totally and completely sure you no longer want to be with him. It’s the only way you can move on once and for all. - I already move on without him. =)

I think I am abit emotion about yesterday stuff.
After thinking for a day, I think that is none of my business.
Because I don't have the right to control his life plus if any girls want to throw herself on him, is already got nothing to do with me.
And I only care for him as a friend that's all. =D

Fuck my day! My hand got lots of small paper cut.

I am sorry to say that I need to make my twitter private.
Because of some personal reason.

Was very pissed of at that thing.
Why so suddenly? After we broke off, she started to do it.
I really damn pissed off.. Fucking slut~
Luckily he didn't do anything, if not I don't know what I will do.

I need Courage pill, can anyone buy/do for me?

What a national day! LOL~

Let's blog what happen for my long weekends.
Saturday 070810
Meet up with xl, jk, wg and jy, went to Paragon to pass rx charger first.
Then took bus to PS, walked to Left foot shop, but saw a shoe i like yet don't have my size anymore. *suck thumb*
Back to PS and settle our dinner at Cafe Cartel, food was okay but services damn FUCK! Still have to pay service charge. WTF!
Took tickets and wait for our movie to start.
Watched The Last Airbender, storyline suck and is just the effect of the fighting is too awesome.
Took NR6 to my house here and slack till 6am in the morning.
HOME SWEET HOME!

Sunday 080810
Stay at home till 6pm and went out to have dinner with my parents.
Aftermath, my dad drop me at kallang MRT and i took cab to my colleague's friend house at tampines.
Play mj from 9pm till 2am.
Took cab home.
Slept at 3am.

Monday 090810
Is national day! Kinda of sucks.
Went out with my mum.
Brought 1 tee and 1 dress.
Went back home around 6 pm plus, and watch National Day with my dad and my bro.
Was saying about the army stuffs.
Is weird because last time he was the one who tell me about the army stuff but no longer now. =(
Brought KFC and wanted to get back home to see JY performance, but I missed it! FUCK!

I really really miss those life. Be it is happy or sad. If I have a wish, i hope everything could just stop there. I was so damn hoping to see u again. I don't know why too. I thought, i thought, i thought...Everything is just I thought, but do things will happen on me again? I doubt so. I can't see any futures in my life anymore. I can't see my fate too. I don't know this will take how long. Or is it because I don't have a new love and that why I keep thinking about him?

People will just think, why do i still all this shit thing again and again. I don't know why too. I just want to blog out my feelings that all. My life still damn FUCK up! Can't change to a better one. SIGH! Fuck!!!!!!!!!

Just came back from Tampines. Sigh!
Was playing mj with my colleague plus her bf's friends Gf.
At least I won. LOL~
They are too scary, just like ah lian. Guys are like ah beng. Freak me out. =(
Don't think will join them play again.
Because is too far plus i have to take cab home while their Bfs got car. =.=
LOL! I must back to my normal life again. =.=

Whatever I miss, time will really never go back again.
Letting go of everything, is my only choice now.
I trying my best and I hoping I can do it.
Next month is september, and i ask myself a question - should i or not?

PS: I need really need to get a spectacle soon~ FML~ Lost everything! FUCK!

Laugh out loud day!~

One day two very loving parents got into a huge fight,
the man called the women a “bitch” and the women called the man a “bastard”.
Their son walked in and said “What does bitch and bastard mean?”
and the parents replied “ladies and gentlemen”.

The next day the parents decided to have sex,
the women said “feel my titties” and the man said “feel my dick”.
Their son walked in and asked “What does titties and dick mean?”
and the parents replied “hats and coats”.

On Thanksgiving the dad was shaving and he cut himself, “Shit” he said,
the kid came in and asked “What’s that mean” a
nd the man said it was the brand shaving cream he was using.

Down stairs the mom was preparing the turkey,
and she cut herself, “Fuck” she said.
Once again the kid asked “What’s that mean”
the mom said that is what she calls stuffing the turkey.

Then the door bell rang.
The kid answered the door to his relatives and said
“Alright you bitches and bastards, put your dicks and titties in the closet,
my dad is upstairs wiping the shit off his face,
and my mom is in the kitchen fucking the turkey!



I love the last part. High five! Awesome~

Long weekend is here. =)

Like finally i can rest for extra day during weekdays. *smile*
Saturday plan watching movie that all. Kinda bored~
Sunday and monday no plan.
My colleague asked me to join her to play mj, and shun bian know her bf's friend too. Ya, she is trying to help me. She such a a good person. Might ask her out if i am willing too. No harm mah. =)

Shall sleep soon. Too tired for me to think anything now. And nobody is at home except for my mum.

PS: I lost my virgin again. O.o Contact lens! Going to wear it out for the whole month, provided i am going out. =)


Let's end a photo of me. lol! =D

05 aug 2010

Nice out day with Gfs.
Meet up with rx and boss after my work at 313, then decided to go liang court for dinner. After dinner, slack and walk to marina square.
Madness!
Went to toilet and took photos.
Stuck in the toilet for like 15minutes.
Home sweet home!

Looking forward to sat's outing, hopefully the 2 army guys could make it!

What's the main problem is?

YES! Finally my iphone got jailbreak. Thanks to xl's help. LOL!
The moment i saw my iphone successful jailbreak, my feeling was - FUCKING happy!
I jailbreak by myself. =D Prove that i am not noob. hahahahaha.
Life without jailbreak is suck!

Yesterday mj session was fun.
Kh, xl and jy came over to my house to play mj from 4pm till 9 plus.
Went down to have dinner and stupid jy suggest to continue play.
So went back to my house again, slack and chit chat while kh was doing his homework on my lappy.
Start playing from 12 am till 3 am.
And I won the last round. =D Thanks to KH!
Went to my room and sleep, while jy sleep on the floor, kh sleep on my sis bed, the poor xl was sleeping on the table.
Wake up 7 plus and off to work.
Nearly doze off while working.
Went home after work and saw xl's tweet about jailbreak is out.
Was doing since 7.30pm till now.
Suppose want to sleep after my dinner but....... shall sleep soon. *yawn*

I love jailbreak!

Is Saturday, and i don't have a date. Sucks! HAHAHAHA.
Just finish editing the photos i want to develop.
Oh my, 500 plus photos! I don't know how exp it will be.
I realise for this 3 years plus, my hair styles are almost the same.
Shoulder length, bob hair, shoulder length....
Why is not growing longer?

And I don't even know how i spend my day at home alone. =.=
Finding videos to watch and kill time as well.
Finding blogshop to shop but nothing caught my eye.
Everything need pre-order, I hate to wait! HAHAHAHA~
This week, not driving lesson for me.
Simply just to lazy to go down. =D


That's me, 2 years ago.
Yet my hair still so damn short. =(
I miss my bob hair. Should I cut it? Hmmm.....

Looking back the photos I took with him, I am glad to say that I wasn't upset, unhappy or angry.

Thanks for giving me such a wonderful memories. (If you are reading)
I really decided to let go of you this time.
I won't turn back to you anymore.
Your life seem to be happy without me and I am glad to see that.
I won't hate you.
I won't dislike you.
I won't forget you.
I will forgive you.
If is possible, I would only like to be back with u as friend. A real friend.
(Do you think we still can do it?)
If time can go back, and let me chose, I still want to be with u!
No regret being with u.
At least you let me know what is LOVE, a real love. =O

Is been 1 month plus, and yet I still writing about him.
What can i do? Reader like to read this kind of lame blog. =)
Enjoy hor......
Next weekend, hopefully that is outing for me! Pls!!!


Anna David - Fuck you
There was a time when you would call me up and make me said
Through the night I’m wait for you because you needed it
And I was stick around and confided you and take your shit
But that all ends now

I think you should take all your stuff now and go away
I am sure you find another girl who wants to play
All the fucked up games that you have put me through
Boy that’s over now

Try to concede, I want you to leave (oh no no)
No more to say, just go away (just go away)
Can’t you see that I got nothing left for you? (oh, nothing left for you)

For all the game and the sleepless nights
For all the tears and all the endless fights
For all the treading and all for all the times you
Used me, felt through, word through, fuck you (oh)

all the times that you pissed me off (you pissed me of)
For all the times you were many low
For all the times that you just dissed me (yeah)
Forget me, felt through, word through, fuck you (so fuck you)

There was a time when just a touch from you would make me high
I would cry with you and laugh with you and loved you by
Now I see that it was wrong to put my trust in you (so it’s over)

Try to concede, I want you to leave (uh yeah)
No more to say, just go away (just go away)
Can’t you see that I got nothing left for you? (oh, nothing left for you)

For all the game and the sleepless nights (oh oh)
For all the tears and all the endless fights (your just not strong enough)
For all the treading and all for all the times you
Used me, felt through, word through, fuck you

For all the times that you pissed me off
For all the times you were many low
For all the times that you just dissed me (oh yeah)
Forget me, felt through, word through, fuck you (so fuck you, oh, uh hey oh yeah)

For all the game and the sleepless nights
For all the tears and all the endless fights
For all the treading and all for all the times you (you did me wrong)
Used me, felt through, word through, fuck you

For all the times that you pissed me off (oh, you pissed me of)
For all the times you were many low (were many low)
For all the times that you just dissed me
Forget me, felt through, word through, fuck you

Ohhhhhhh (so fuck you)
All the sleepless nights
Oh oh yeah yeah

For all the game and the sleepless nights (you did me wrong)
For all the tears and all the endless fights (oh)
For all the treading and all for all the times you
Used me, felt through, word through, fuck you
For all the times that you pissed me off (you pissed me off)
For all the times you were many low
For all the times that you just dissed me (yeah)
Forget me, felt through, word through, fuck you

I want to download this song, but couldn't find.
Somemore is year 2006 song.
Old school~

PS: Now is 1 aug, time passed real fast.

Time is helping me to get rid of those unhappy memories. Not only time and my beloved friends too! Helping me, staying at myside to help me go through the most unhappy times! Thanks people! I love u all!

Woooo~ tml is pay day! Fucking happy! Finally can go for shopping spree. The last time I had shopping was march. Super long ago. Hahaha. Need someone for date next week, somemore next weekend will be a long one because of national day. Shiok ttm!

I really getting excitied for genting trip on sep, although is not cmf yet but I really hope we can go this time.

I think I am really a stupid person. Thinking back the things that how he treat me, being used, being toture, being dump I don't even know at all. Or is just that I pretend not to know? And I can actually endure for so damn long! Hais! Just got to say to myself stupid, useless, foolish, and dumb!

This morning, on the journey to work, suddenly i think of watching movie with someone and link to my first date and everything. I just wonder how he did it and why we got together and now we become like this. Super random!

I only have to tell myself: He won't come back to me ANYMORE. I have to think all the nasty things he had treat me so i could actually make my heart dead for him. I really have to let go everything of him.

Sleeping time~ =D

Smile Jane!
Laugh Jane!
Forget everything Jane!
You can do it! I love jane!!! hahahahahahahaha

Why do all my loves one starts to change? They are not the one that i used know. Is really hurtful, what can i do? Time can't go back anymore. Friends are the one who can make them change, but how about? Or i just not your friend at all? Life suck!

Please don't be a deceiver, I really hate someone who doesn't have a heart to treat me as a friend. After what u did, I should just angry, happy or forget it?

Fuck!

While I am roaming around your house today
I'm getting angry
It's difficult, It's difficult for me like this

But I can't do anything about it
It is too late to change your heart
It's done, I can't do anything now

Your hands that was once used to my body are now pushing me away
What should I do? What should I do?
Until now, the breath of yours is gone
I still love you
What should I do? What should I do? Please..
Oh~ Please.. comeback to me...

I think of you, I keep thinking of you
I can't hold your hands like I did in the past
I like you too much
I can't forget anything about you
This song is a song that can't hold onto you

I think of you, I always think of you
I won't be able to hold your hands like I did in the past
I liked you too much that I can't forget anything about you
This song is a song that will get you back to me

Your hands that was once used to my body are now pushing me away
What should I do? What should I do?
Until now, the breath of yours is gone
I still love you
What should I do? What should I do?

Those eyes that used to meet me
Look at me once again
Will those eyes of yours say that you still love me?

Your hands that was once used to my body is now pushing me away
What should I do? What should I do?
Until now, the breath of yours is gone
I still love you
What should I do? What should I do? Please..
Oh~ Please.. I love you...

Random update

I don't know why i am freaking scare to get that instructor again! LOL~ Today's mood = Sianz TTM!

There is a couple in my Facebook, and they spam each other comments everyday. Whenever i saw, i will laugh at their comments. =.= Is mushy, sweet and LAME! Freaking funny can. That guy is super funny. =.= I not jealous or what, seeing people are in deeply in love with each other. Although I used to laugh and cursed but not longer now. And i got my retribution now for being dump by him. Maybe is the fate........

Keep thinking negative think and positive thing. Somehow wants to forget it but my mind just doesn't want to listen to my heart. What should i do? Two words to describe LIFE SUCKS!

I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kind of boring
Need something that I can confess

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that'll like those ears
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
This time
Don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

WTF! Having flu once i wake up, bad starting of the day. Parents went out for lunch and didn't wait for me to be wake up. =( Bad thing again. Had curry puff for lunch, shall wait for them to bring me out dinner. HAHAHAHAHA~

Today's weather is damn hot. Feel like making me to be tanned, anyone wants? =) *wink wink*

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe

They don't always happen when you ask
And it's easy to give in to your fears
But when you're blinded by your pain
Can't see your way clear through the rain
A small, but still, resilient voice
Says help is very near

I believe it will happen again, but do miracles will appear? Seriously I really need miracles!

Just reached home.
Short update before i going to sleep.
Nice outing with my "noob" clan. =) Watched The Sorcerer's Apprentic, cool movie. Didn't watch movie at cinema for soooooo damn long. Sigh~ I will miss that kind of life, and it will be my memories. Anyway I love Nicolas Cage magic, is damn cool. Wooooo!

Fuck the day! Fuck the driving! Fuck my life! Fuck everything TTM~~~~
Stupid bus driver didn't want to stop for me! Can't he see me? I am so fucking big size. T_T
I keep being said by the instructor, and he making me so damn nervous.
Why didn't i get a new damn life? And how can i get it? Why do people seem to have enjoy their life so much but not me? Sigh~

Life suck! Everything suck! SIGH~

Nice out day with boss and xian. Is really been a long time since I laugh till there is tears. Thanks to them, they bright up my day. =) Let's meet up more often, hahahaha~

I really don't know what am i thinking. Although is been a month, but i just can't get over you. Why? Sigh! Is really seem that you are so happy. And why I am still waiting for a person, who already forget about me. I might be the world stupidest women, dumbest women, and I still crazy over you. Sigh!!!! IMU~

This few days, headache is getting worst. I wonder isit because I face computer too long or my sleeping position is wrong? Or i am dying soon??? =(

I am DAMN Fucking tired now, shall sleep soon. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. =)

FUCK~ Oh my! My jailbreak is all gone. Sianz. I miss my jailbreak so much~ Need to wait for them to update. Faster Pls!!!

Doing Iphone stuff by myself, I think I am very dumb lor. Should have update when they done with the jailbreak. =.= Used to be someone helped me to do it, but now i have to depend all by myself for everything. SIGH!

I was so scare that just now my phone couldn't On, if really happen, I don't know what to do. =( Iphone gave me lots of problem. FUCK!

Yesterday driving was bored, my 4th instructor was so bored can! He doesn't talk to me, unlike the first and 3rd one. Saw the lame instructor and surprisingly, he still can recognize me. =)

Nothing much happen this week. Life suck TTM~

Today life sucks! Is everyday life sucks! Sianz..
Didn't sleep well last night, nearly fall a sleep while working. =.=

I don't know what to blog, my mind is BLANK. Listening to old school songs. ^^ Kind of random. hahaha...

Still doing the stupid same things every single days, is there any way to let me stop doing it? Sigh! Let's think back....I think I make a wrong move. Wrong move to give up so easily, but hanging on also no point. No matter what both ways will make me tears. Sigh!

Wasn't feeling well this few days, my head is spinning round and round. I even scare I will just faint. =( Am i having a illness? Ok, I am so freaking scare now. What if I just die like this? Nooo... I still have to blow my 21th candle, if there is someone willing to celebrate with me -.-

Mariah Carey - I stay in love
Dying inside cause I
can't stand it
Make or break up
Can't take this madness
We don't even really know why
All I know is baby
I try and try so hard
To keep our love alive

If you don't know me at this point
Then I highly doubt you ever will
I really need you to give me
That unconditional
love I used to feel
It's no mistaking
We're just erasing
From our hearts and minds
And I know

We said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it's over
You're really gone
It's killing me
Cause there ain't nothing
That I can do
Baby, I stay in love with you

And I keep on telling myself
That you'll come back around
And I try to front like "Oh well"
Each time you let me down
See I can't get over you now
No matter what I do
But baby, baby
I stay in love with you

Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na
Baby, I stay in love with you

It cuts so deep
It hurts down to my soul
My friends tell me
I ain't the same no more
We still need each other
When we stumble and fall
How we gon' act
Like what we had
Ain't nothin' at all now

Hey, what I wanna do is
Ride shotgun next to you
With the top down like we used to
Hit the block
Proud in the SU
We both know our heart is breaking
Can we learn from our mistakes
I can't last one moment alone
Now go I know

We said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it's over
You're really gone
It's killing me
Cause there ain't nothing
That I can do
Baby, I stay in love with you

And I keep on telling myself
That you'll come back around
And I try to front like "Oh well"
Each time you let me down
See I can't get over you
Now no matter what I do but
Baby, baby
I stay in love with you

We said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it's over
You're really gone
It's killing me
Cause there ain't nothing
That I can do
Baby, I stay in love with you

And I keep on telling myself
That you'll come back around
And I try to front like "Oh well"
Each time you let me down
See I can't get over you
Now no matter what I do
But baby, baby
I stay in love with you

I stay in love Love
Oh, I stay in love.

Forever Love - I don't believe it anymore! Never say it unless you can do it. Or else just STFU!

Yawn~ 是累的咯!
Super shag now. Slept at 4 am and wake up at 12 plus.

Let blog about BOSS'S 21th birthday. Is 5th time, We celebrate for her, except for last year.
Get ready and prepare around 4 plus, get out of the house and went to J8 to buy Hello Kitty balloon. Didn't expected to be SOOOO Big. Somemore I have to take that stupid balloon from Bishan to Orchard. I don't dare to take MRT, so in the end took bus to Orchard lor. >.<

Meet up with boss and went to far east to waste time as we need to wait for Bee to arrive. Shape my eyebrow. Like finally after so long, i went to trim it. Neat and nice. =) Change our venue to Marina Square, and i forgot that there is a road block due to NDP. Suck lor, have to walk from Raffles City to Marina Square. =.= Dinner was at Mr Curry, dessert at changing appetizer. Celebration at Esplanade.

Took lots of photos. Went home at 1 am, waited for NR6 for 15 minutes and the bus journey is sooooooo long. 45 minutes then reach my house. Suck! Luckily I got R&B songs to make me awake. =.=


Our group photo. After sooo long, finally we gather together. =)
More photos at Facebook.


Thanks to this balloon!

Thanks to the one who let me SLIM down, I am happy because I lose 3 to 5 kg! =) 5kg more to go~ Thanks for my parent to bring me to eat Wen Tong Ji today, because I am craving for it, but no one wants to accompany me. =(

I want to watch MOVIES!!!!! Anyone?

4 more months to my birthday, and i doubt i will be opening Chalet. After so many things happen, I really have no mood to thing about it now. So hope things will get better when time come.

I love my Girlfriends!!!!!
I love my Mum & Dad!!!!!
I love my "GAYS" & Ladies!!!!
I love my Buddy!!!

Ok, I got nothing to do and look back to my entries. -.- I really miss the days, the days when he treated me so good. But now, time won't go back anymore.

The things that I am thinking, it won't be happen on me. It won't come true too. Even thought is been a month but I still feel like everything happen on yesterday. I only can say, I miss you. That's all! No more hate, no more anger, no more love, no more tears. I only miss you. Hais~ But i am not going to do anything, so don't worry people. Missing a person, doesn't mean I have do action. As long as he is happy, everything is worth it. =)

If you feel that I am writing the same old thing over again and again, then just dont read it. Every post, I wrote it with my feelings so I can't remember did i wrote it before anot. Pls understand, I got a STM!

I miss you~ I miss you~ I miss you~

TGIF~

Somehow Friday is just a normal day to me. I used to look forward for it but no longer now. =X My dad gave me a hard question about maths and need to crack my brain to do it. But still can't get the answer. ARGH!

Treasure the love ones before losing it. I regretted it and now I doesn't have the chance to treasure it anymore. =( Never mind, time will cure everything (like what all of you all said). Although sometime I still think but just don't give that FUCK feeling. You never know how painful and breathless feeling is. That feeling is torturing me. SO PLEASE FUCK OFF~

Is a lazy friday for me. Dinner was 1/4 potion of the food nia, and now i am feeling hungry! But no more eating because is time for me to diet. Suppose have drinking session tonight that we plan last month and now 2 person couldn't make it. Such a tiring job to notify everyone. =.= Hate to be planner. Always something will crop up!

Shouldn't have drink lime juice during lunch time, and now my stomach pain plus menses. SUCK! Feeling like dying soon. LOL, FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll back off so can live

Say it directly

Looking at me

Say it looking into my eyes

Did you just say you wanted to break up?

Did you want to end it with me?

(I know) You probably got a lady

(I know) You probably got sick of me

Even though the tears are rushing to me

I'll back off so you can live

That is all I can say

I'll forget you so you can live better

So that you will be happy without me

The love you tossed away

You can take it

Don't leave even a trace behind and take it all

Don't even say you are sorry

Don't worry about me

Sorry My Sweety

Your lips that told me that you were going to leave

Why does it give me a reason to be angry today?

I need to stop you

The words don't go out

And you are already moving far apart

(I know) You will forget me

(I know) I will really hate you

Even though you know everything

I'll back off so you can live

That is all I can say

I'll forget you so you can live better

So that you will be happy without me

The love you tossed away

You can take it

Don't leave even a trace behind and take it all

Don't even say you are sorry

Don't worry about me

(You) The reason I lived

(You) You were all I wanted

You~

It was me who only looked at you

(Why) Why are you leaving?

(Why) Why are you tossing me away?

If you were going to be like this

Why did you love me in the first place?

Do you happen to remember that day?

That day when we first met

I still remember it

The promise you made to me

That you will only care for me

That you will only protect me

That you will only love me

I believed your lies

I believed it

Did you really love me?

I'll forget you so you can live better

True lyrics! =)

Random post!

Just don't give me back the feeling can!? I hate that feeling, make me feel so uncomfortable. PLS PLS PLS!!!!

Now is the season of break up period! Why do we girls have to suffer for guys who doesn't appreciate us? Never find a guy who is 大男人, cuz this kind of guys are the hardest one to fulfill whatever they want. SO JUST FUCK OFF FROM MY LIFE!

Is true about this - Why did i even bother when you are not making an effort.

Ok, I think I am going to learn Muay thai, since i got so much time plus nothing to do. What don't i just go and learn some skills. More research on it first.

Before that, anyone wants to go Genting on september? $88 for 3 days 2 night. Hopefully still got promotion till sep. I WANT TO GO! HAHAH, go le jiu dont come back anymore =.=

I want go suntan, I want to go holiday, I want to fix my CPU, I want to finish my driving, I want to get SLR camera, I want i want i want!! All i need is MONEY and ACCOMPANY! Anyone is willing to do for me? *wink wink* =)

Ytd driving was fun. And I realise driving circuit is damn bored because only can drive till 1st gear nia. =.= Oh pls, next lesson, no more circuit!

There is a thing I want to blog, I am not talking about him. Why do girls can accompany a guy for 2 years time during his army life? Even they didn't 兵变, yet in the end girls get is only a "BREAK UP" for their BF. FUCK those guys, those guys have NO BALL at all and they are JERKS too! They will only RETRIBUTION!

Should I say I already get over it? I am scare. Once I say this words, then few days later I find myself crying again. And I only can say I am tired to cry for someone who doesn't treat me as friend or what.

If I have money, I will want to fly oversea and might not coming back here. Although is stupid thinking but I want to leave this place. Too many memories that can't be forgotten.

You can't fix me, I torn apart. I wanna run away from love, this time i have had enough! Shattered all pieces of parts! Never thought I'd fall so hard, I'm putting back together my hearts. I'm broken! I know it's gonna take some time, to finally realize.

PS: I hate guys had botak! FUCK THOSE GUYS! Fucking tico!!!!

My blog will be emo post for a period.

不知为什么当我看到的时候，我的心就跳的很快, 让我无法呼吸，眼泪也掉了下来。我的心也很痛！为什么你要这样的对我？我好辛苦啊！
我真的无法相信你是这种人。 我也无法接受事实，虽然我知道是不可能会发生但是我不想放弃。
Because I am too stupid, even thought i know things won't happen for 2nd, I still want to do.
Hurt for the 1st time, I won't know is painful.
Hurt for the 2nd time, things might get worst, but still will hold on.
Hurt for the 3th 4th 5th....., still won't give up.
Until there is a day, I really know what is GIVE UP, then i will give up.

I cry again after 2 weeks of cool down, and i realise something, something bad. Couldn't say out because I don't want anyone to know. I only can see negative things and there won't be hope for me. Life still have to go on, but how am i going to go on? My mind, my heart, my everything is already not belong to me. I really try but I still couldn't do it. Everyday I have to urge to do it, but i have to stop it!!

I thought everything change but is only I THOUGHT~ =(

Should i do something stupid?

Ytd 10 july, was a day that P plate could be taken down. =)

I just feel kinda of stupid if i still tell others about my feelings, everyone will say the same thing to me. So now i have to hide again. And the things i say, but is not that i wanted. I still the same shit everyday. FUCK! There won't be a "P" for me but is only a "E". SIGH~

EMO EMO EMO EMO

Working is stress up! But i didn't regret it, all i hope is to improve myself and don't make careless mistake anymore.

Everyone had date on friday, except for me. =0 LOL!

Saw someone's blog and she wrote: that loving someone so much, is not being noble to set him/her free, unless you haven given your all and every effort you put in is not working for the both of you. Have you already fight til the end to keep that someone you love so much by your side?
When you know the two of you are still in love with each other, but some circumstances seem to grey your vision of a blissful future, then think.. Have the both of you tried to salvage? Tried to solve?
OF course, if obviously the other party no longer loves you, and you have confirmed that fact from her/him, then leave but give your most sincere blessings. You know you will be appreciated.
Don't come blaming me telling me you fought so hard to keep that loved one by your side til the extent you used unscrupulous methods. I never agree on that.

I don't really know what the main reason that he wants to break with me, and I don't think is because he change his heart and that why he wants it. Whether we still be friend, is already up to him. Anyway I would like to say thanks to him because I lost a love but i gain love from my parents. Somehow this is my first time that I love my parents ALOT! I won't blog anything about him anymore because I don't know whether he will be reading it and I don't want people to hate him or what.

Although sometime I still can feel that he's at my side, but is was just a lie. Everywhere I go, Everything I do there, there will always something to link with him. Few days ago, I try to think to SMS, MSN and even email to him but I stop myself from doing it. Even I did, he also won't bother anything de. That's HIM! Heartless and cruel! HAHAHA~ Even his friends was shocked that he changed and I really hope he won't change to someone that is heartless and cruel. Is heart pain to see if you treat someone like what he did to me. I can be victim but no more next one, k?

Thanks for appearing my life since sec 1 and now we ended our relationship plus friendship too. All the best to your future! =)

Thanks to vanessa, who actually accompany the first 3 days. Because she think that I will do something stupid. Thanks buddy!
Thanks jk, xl and thai for seeing me cry like FUCK and console/meet me when I ask you all. =)
4 of you were the only one who saw me, how sad I am! If I didn't turn to you all, I might commit suicide because I don't know what to do when he ask for a break up. Thanks wg, rx and jy for toning session for the past 2 weeks, and all of you actually help me to go through the hardest period of time. Thanks to those who concern about me. =)

Got a new haircut and I shall put down everything behind. Make my life better! I want my license faster! And i want to buy SLR camera too! Those wishes that we couldn't do together, I shall do all by myself.


Pls laugh at me when you saw me!

PS: I AM FUCKING HUNGRY! Last meal was during lunch, and i AM LOSING WEIGHT AGAIN!

Yesterday was 7/7 and my driving was lesson 7, so triple 7 for the day. =) LOL.
My driving suck TTM~ Sian! Guess the instructor got afraid of me le bah. The instructor is a young and handsome guy. hahaha~ But he won't entertain me not like the first instructor. Still need help for my driving. =(

I did the same thing again when i went home. Memories just flow back to my mind, and feeling was low. If I have a wish, I just wish to lost my memories. Because i can forget everything that had happen. I don't wish to think it anymore, but it just stuck in my mind. Hais, what can i do?

LIFE SUCK! I lost my battle to R/S, so as my job too. Stress up! FUCK! I need a damn new life can? =(



Super junior - no other. OMG! They are damn cute! =)

I need alot of money now, who wants to give me? LOL~

I am doing something which i not suppose to do, thinking something that i shouldn't be thinking too. FUCK~ What's wrong with me? I really can't stop thinking

Out of sudden, I know is impossible but I chose not to believe it. I know I am stupid but I just waiting for something. That most people won't do it de. Somehow, I just can't accept the fact. I regret what i did, and not I couldn't turn back the time anymore. If I have any chance, I will do it in happily and peaceful. Sigh~ I really need something to distract me for this matter. =(

I am scare to do it alone and I might break down one day. I don't know what to do.

如果我能回到以前，我会选择不认识你。不 是我后悔。是我不能面对，没有你的结局。
从此以后，我们的幸福，与彼此都无关了。
我没有很想你，只是开心的时候会想起你， 你是我第一个想要分享的人。
我没有很想你，只是在听歌的时候会突然想 起你，不为什么，只因为那歌词里写的好像我和你。
我没有很想你，只是在早晨醒来的时候会突 然想起你，不为什么，只因为梦里出现的好想你。
我真的没有很想你， 我只是在不想想你的时候想起你。
想你，但却害怕让你知道， 所以不敢也不会打扰你。
我一直比你想象的更加爱你， 可是我却不能告诉你。
想你，不打扰你，是因为太爱你。

Shall update my blog now.

Last friday, meet up with _____ and friends to go club. I not going to find guys or what, I just go there to enjoy and listen to the music. I like rebel and their songs are quite nice. =) Shall ask rx to go next time. muhahahaha~ Went home at 5.30 am, suppose i am the first one should i reach home but my house there road block so go bishan then hougang then my hse. And i pay extra $10, FUCK~

When i reach home, is already 6 am and i have to CDC to buy my PDL, so i didn't sleep but just rest awhile. Went to CDC about 8 plus, brought PDL and book my practical lesson. Then customer service person told me that there is a slot at 2.30pm and ask whether i would want to take, so i agree. Went home after that, waste time then leave house again to CDC to drive. WoooWooo, driving is fun. =0 Went home after that again, and went out at 10plus to meet them at tpy. FUCK, i went out of the house for 3 times. Waste my transport fees, and i didnt have a proper meal for the whole day. FUCK~

Ton till 7am and went home after that. Zombie of the day~ Slept and wake up around 3 plus, went out at 5 pm. Meet xian and boss for short shopping and dinner. =)

And today is monday blue, and FUCK my work. My job load is so huge today, fuck.. Super stress in the morning. Sigh~

I was thinking what if we saw each other on the streets, will u say "hi" or just walk away? I always tell me "Please dont care about his life anymore, JUST FUCK CARE!" But i couldn't do it all. The feeling is bad, I know why when i saw i felt so sad. Because you couldn't treat me like them. If you couldn't do it at all, then why the fuck you told me we can?

Shit, i am taking his words too serious.... nooooooonooooooooo..

I lost all my confident for everything, I don't know why. I need to get back but can i? Why my life still so fuck up? How could this happen to me? I made my mistake, I got no where to run. I need a brand new life, anyone willing to give me? LOL. =X

Toning session was fun yesterday, think our meet up will next next week. Aww~~ I will miss you guys. =.= lol.

And i survive without sleeping for 35 hours, I AM A ZOMBIE. Haha~~

Somehow shouldn't went to see it anymore, and now feel so emo. =.= I don't know why too, sigh. Feel pain and disappointed. FUCK IT! Why do it happen so suddenly again? That is why I know why he will be like this, and i realise say letting go ( i thought i have le). But why? Why am i feeling like this?

Is 6am in the morning, and i still awake. Just came back from Rebel, I realise actually not only guys are jerk, girls are bitches too. Shouldn't have a flirt around when u got a BF but PRETTY girls dont mind. Just feel upset for her bf, LOL.. Fucking tired now, but must endure.....

Shall blog later...

10th

I still remember today is ur day appointment with dental. Somehow it just remind me of you, talking to me when u put on ur braces. And we couldn't quarrel because i will laugh at you, but now we really couldn't quarrel anymore le. Because you don't belong to me anymore. I miss the days with you.

I got a weird emotion now. Sometime feel ok, sometime emo. Really very randomly. Today is 1st day of the month, fuck this day. Sigh! I hate 1st day of the month because is our anniversary and now not consider anymore. FUCK 1st!

Forcing you to be someone you don't love anymore, will just only make both of us suffer. In the end, I still have to let you go no matter what. Letting you doesn't mean I don't love you anymore, is just that I want you to be happy. You must be happy with your life now, and i think you got into school you wanted. I know you will never talk to me again, and I did what you want. Stop smsing(contacting) you all this, and I did it. I didn't disturb your life anymore, you can just forget about me, Jane Yoong will never appear in your life anymore. If you want to delete me from FB, msn just do it bah. Since you don't really treasure our friendship, then just do it bah.

Just don't regret what you did, because life is so short. Like what you say, we cannot be qing ren but can be best friend. But what did you do? I treasure what i have now. No bf = freedom. I have lots lots lots of freedom. Although my life suck now, but i know will get better in time.

I not going to forget you because you were my first and true love.

I know i won't be having another relationship because there won't be anyone like me. Only you (dumb) will fall in love with me. =.= I mean it seriously.